Friday, October 2, 2009

Jobsites, Networking sites & Matrimonial sites


So after a really really really long sabbatical I’m back, with a vow to be more regular. After all, its about being connected and staying connected.

And that brings me to my anecdote for today. For most of you who don’t know I work in Human Resources and in my line recruitment is huge chunk of what I do. So what do  we recruiters do? From mere mortals we metamorphosis into complete social animals . Everyone—and I mean everyone—is a potential candidate and/or a client.

I’ve had interesting conversations at the chemist, at the gas station and church (client converted!). Well the down side is you get pesky neighbours who ask you for a status update every three days (makes you want to change your cell phone number, but try juggling three numbers like I do and its not worth the trouble!!!)

And if you want to get over your shyness in public places, being a recruiter is just what the social skills teacher ordered! Parties where you probably know only the host/ hostess is the motherlode. Its like an untapped oil well, an undiscovered mine, a pharoah’s tomb. Loads of new many people to meet, the potential is endless. (Big ticket closure last May via one such birthday party, ka-ching!!)

You see, networking is an integral part of our job. The other is to stay recruiter ahead of the curve and find newer more innovate ways to find that elusive candidate or client lead or industry. The usual suspects are the, and so on. Then of course there are the LinkedIn's and Vaults of the world. And for some (and I mean those companies that actually do have not site restrictions…pray do those still exist??!)  there is Facebook and Orkut and Hi5. (Pssst… if you know of something new drop me an email)

In my experience, women do well with people and maybe that’s why you will find a higher percentage of women in HR and recruitment. Now as is the natural progression (in most cases), you graduate, you get a job, you find the right ‘boy’ (even if he is in his 40s, here in India I don’t why we still call them boys) and get married. How do the last two happen?

Well, some get lucky, fall in love with Mr Mostly Right (Mr. Perfect retired a lifetime ago), others have parents (and the extended family) pitching in (see its all about networking) and then there is the trusty, and a host of other regional .com matrimonial sites to choose from.

But, I’ve come across a very ingenious colleague. The person who Swaymwar cannot be named (WCBN) comes from a traditional family. Hence when  it comes to the eligibles there is a long list of parameters  that have to be fulfilled before round 1 (aptly called ‘coming to see’ stage). This is where the one WCBN had a brainwave.

Remember, its all about being connected :) So LinkedIn, here’s  another revenue spinner for you.

Step 1 -  Log onto Go to people search (top right hand) and  type in possible prospective first names and surnames.

Step 2 – Shortlist ‘suitable candidates’ from the populated list and send them invites on LinkedIn. Offer them an ‘exciting’/‘interesting’ opportunity. (Such an opportunity may or may not exist in reality)

Step 3 – Invite them to the office for an interview for a ‘personal interview’  and to discuss the ‘opportunity’  (the aforementioned ‘exciting’/‘interesting’  opportunity) in more detail.

Step 4 -  Meet with candidate and evaluate the role/ candidature for the ‘opportunity’ and secondary Main & actual agenda -  is he good husband material. The other thing -  its the only way you can ask a guy how much he makes within the first meeting, brilliant!

Step 5 – Inform candidate if he’s made it through or declined. Now in this particular case, insider information says all declined. Not sure if the candidates know though, if they failed the interview of their lifetime. (Good for them!!)

I guess, the WCBN needs to work harder at sourcing the right candidate or the ‘client’ aka WCBN , needs to re-work her parameters.

But heck, if this isn’t ‘marrying’ business with pleasure and making the most of networking sites, I don’t know what is. LinkedIn… Jai Ho

Watch out for :- Soon to be launched LinkedIn application – MatchIt  - The perfect partner… Life Partner


  1. Sites for match making and matrimony can be helpful to individuals who have no other means and time to look for partner offline. The benefit they can get is worth it. A compatible match can be at hand and offshore. Because of the internet technology the world becomes a smaller place to find someone capable of dating and loving you online.

  2. Now a days, marriage and matrimonial websites are quickly becoming prime media to look for matches. Especially because of today's busy lifestyles and focus on career and growth.Matrimonial websites like, provide services free of charge.

  3. Great expectations

    Life is full of surprises, particularly if you are a newly - wed . Expressjodi you a glimpse into the future and tells how to be prepared to face married life

    Love is all about romance whereas marriage is a lot about responsibility. When two different individuals from different backgrounds live together, differences of opinion on things like spending habits, career, having and raising a baby, sharing household responsibilities etc, are bound to crop up, the key is to broaden your outlook and accept all the changes that marriage brings, and to remember that marriage is a momentous change for you and your spouse. And, fear not, over a period of time, you will find a way to make it work.


    With marriage comes a whole lot of responsibility. "From the time you ger married, the decisions you make will not be yours alone, but your partner's as well. This is because your choices will impact both of you. But this doesn't mean that you're tied to a ball and chain. "It only means you have a companion with you for life. In fact, in your capacity as a spouse, you become your partner's caretaker, friend, confidante and even punching bag etc.


    Arguments over money are bound to happen, so be prepared for it. And unless you establish some ground rules for dealing with financial issues, you will continue to have these arguments. Bear in mind that you are now a part of a unit, and no longer flying solo.

    In - laws or outlaws?

    if you thought that marriage is all about sharing your life with your significant other, think again, and this time, factor in your in - laws into the equation. When you're used to a particular lifestyle, moving in with your in - laws can be a rude shock. You will be required to make changes in your daily routine. Like waking up a little earlier to help around the house or rescheduling your plans on weekends or even modifying some of your eating habits. these might seem like an additional burden, particularly if you are a working woman. Remember to keep an open mind when it comes to handling your in - laws. They may be rigid in their ways, but there is always a way to work out a compromise.

    Sharing space

    Marriage involves sharing everything - whether it is sadness or glad tidings, chores or finance, which can be a difficult task. This is why marriage necessitates an equal contribution from both side. " Sharing is absolutely essential for a happy marriage,. Besides making it easier to run the show, it also brings you closer to your partner, and cement a bond in a way that only experience can.
    Differnces of opinion

    Shaadi brings two different individuals together, as well as two sets of arguments for everything. Remember that your husband is as new to the marriage and the relationship as you, and he is facing the same issue for the first time as well.Irrespective of the nature of the relationship, any two people are bound to have differences of opinion at some point of time, It is how you handle these differences that mtters. The best antidote for deviant interest lies in adapting to the situation. "Be carteful not to retaliate for the sake of it,"

    Planning for the future

    As a single independent working woman, you may be used to your lifestyle, going on holidays or splurging on the latest pair of Jimmy Choos. But married life is a journey and you need to plan carefully to get to your destination. "Planning is the key. Make sure you and your husband are on the same page as far as long - term goal are concerned," "Whether or not you plan to have a baby or deciding on investments for the future and are thing that you should discuss in advbance, if you want to avoid unpleasant surprises in you married life,"

  4. Brahmin Shaadi
    Historically, the Brahmins in india were divided into two major groups based on geographical origin of the people. The Brahmin groups that lived to the north of the vindhyas were referred to as Dravida Brahmins. Each group was further divided into five sections according to the regions of their settlement.

    The Sagaai or the engagement ceremony symbolises commitment However, the South Indian Brahmin do not lay stress on the presence of bride and the groom in their Sagaai, rather it focuses on commitment between the parents of the groom and the bride. 'Latto' i.e., 'engagement plate' Which consist of coconut, flowers, turmeric, betel leaves and betel nuts hold more importance, in their engagement ceremony. The Maithil Brahmin bride of bihar makes her wedding affair stand apart by receiving the blessing from the Dhobi's (washerman's) wife - a compulsory tradition in the Bihari Brahmin wedding.

    In Haldi ceremony turmeric powder is mixed with milk, almond oil and sandalwood and applied to the bride and the groom. In Kashmiri Pandit this ceremony has a twist becuase cold, white yoghurt is poured on the bride as an alternative to haldi. ritual is followed by a special custom called Shankha (shell) Paula (coral) in bengali Brahmins, where seven married women embellish the bride's hand with red and white bangles, the shell is supposed to calm the bride and the coral is believed to
    be beneficial for health. Mehndi is also applied on every bride's hands during the Mehndi ceremony. However, a Bengali Brahmin bride applies alta (red dye).

    After the ceremonious arrival of the groom, the garlands are exchanged between the groom and the bride, while the priests chant mantras. Jaimala is the symbol of unifying two souls into one. But in tamil nadu, "Oonjal", a unique jaimala ceremony is performed and could be best decribed as a tug of war. In this ceremony, the women sing songs to encourage the bride and groom to exchange the garlands while the uncles persuade the soon to be couple not to Exchange the garlands.Before the ceremony of jaimala, the bride makes a majestic entry in Bengali weddings.

    Mangal Phere
    Fire is considered the most pious element in the Brahmin weddings and seven circles around that fire holds the seven promises that the nuptial couple make to each other amidst the Vedic mantras. The Brahmin wedding is deemed incomplete without the seven rounds around the sacred fire. Unlike other Brahmin weddings, in Gujarati weddings only four pheras are taken which are called the mangalpheras where the pheras represent four basic human goals of Dharma, Artha, Kama, and Miksha (religious, moral, prosperity and salvation). Likewise in Malayalee Brahmin weddings, pheras are taken only thrice.

    Post wedding ceremony vidaai
    After pheras, the bride's family and friend bid her teary vidaai (farewell). The Kashmiri pundits make their vidaai even more special. their charming ritual, "roth khabar" is performed on a saturday or tuesday after the wedding. In Roth
    khabar, the bride's parents send a roth (bread decorated with nuts) to their son - in - law's family. But the bride accompanies She stay with her parents and returns only when someone from in laws comes to fetch her back.

    Griha pravesh
    The new bride is greeted by her mother - in - law with Arti and tilak. The bride, who is regarded as the Goddess laxmi, enters the groom's house after the groom's house after kicking rice - filled pot. In Kannada Brahmin marriages, the groom changes the name of his wife in the name change ceremony where he decides a name for his wife and inscribes it on a plate containing rice with a ring. In Bihar, a very strange ritual is performs at the groom's place.


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